Do You Need A Mistress?

Lovers under umbrella

Lovers under umbrella (Photo credit: Grey Rocker)

What?  How could you ask such a question?  Are you kidding me?  Don’t you know that mistresses are evil?  While this may be true in some circumstances, I rather prefer the title of “Mistress” and often use it in my communications.

The word originates from the French word “Maistresse” which is the feminine version of the word “Master”.  In addition, the “Mrs.” front of so many female names is actually short for “Mistress”.  The definition is of a woman who is in a position of authority, who in control over something or someone.  The term later came to mean a kept woman by a married man, but I rather prefer the original meaning and abbreviation.

So what does the original question have to do with the definition of the word “Mistress”?  Quite simply put everything.  I imagine that “Mistress” is exactly what God intended when He created Eve.  She was created to be a helpmate to Adam, to bear children, to work the land, and to rule over creation alongside her husband.  Proverbs 31 describes such a woman who helped her husband, worked outside of the home, raised kids, managed a household, and managed servants.  Talk about busy and confident!

In order to accomplish so much, a woman or shall I say mistress needs confidence with a strong sense of who she is and what she is able to do.  She knows her limitations and does not let them stop her from accomplishing her goals.  She is focused, directed, and strong.  Her actions give a hint as to her thoughts which would have to be truthful, positive, and encouraging in order to accomplish so much.

Do you want to be a mistress?  Too often however women place their value in what they look like instead of who they are.  But looks can be deceiving and unfortunately they can also change over time (even with plastic surgeries).  Negative self-talk about body image is pervasive in our culture at any age and while there is value in taking care of you physically, that should not be primary goal or focus of your time and energy.  In order to be a mistress, focus your attention instead on your character aspects rather than your physical aspects.

Do you want the mind of a mistress?  To develop the mind of a mistress, begin by listing all of the roles you play in life such as mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, Christian, and co-worker.  Then list your positive attributes for each role.  For instance, as a mother I am loving, generous, and kind.  Sort through all of the attributes and focus on three which really define your uniqueness.  Then write the three down and carry them with you as a reminder of who you are, replacing the negative self-talk with more positive self-talk.  However, all of the positive self-talk discussed will not help a mend a broken heart or relationship.  Rather than cover up these hurts with positive self-talk, it is far better to deal with them directly guided by a professional.

Do you want the security of a mistress?  There is no substitute for realizing who you are as a part of God’s creation, how your being is part of a larger plan and how you were created with a purpose.  A mistress is secure in her position of authority and in her role in life.  She does not waste time on being something that she was not designed to be rather she is focused on being the best she can be.  There is great security is striving to excel at what God created you to do.

So, I’ll ask again, do you need a mistress in your life?  Instead of looking for someone else to be the mistress, you can be that mistress.  You can adopt the mind of that mistress and you can claim the security of that mistress.  And the next time you add “Mrs.” to your name, you will be doing it with intention and not just out of tradition.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at

One thought on “Do You Need A Mistress?

  1. Pingback: An Interview with Matt – A Real Life Submissive Slave | Rinsing

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