Marriage Tip: Forgive Your Spouse for the Little Things

It’s the little things that count.  Too often the big things in a marriage get the most attention while the little things go unrecognized for lack of importance.  However, if you can begin the practice of forgiving your spouse for the little things, then when the big things come up it will be a much easier task.  It’s like running a race.  You train for the race gradually, increasing your speed, intensity, and distance with each practice.  Eventually you are prepared to run the race at your best because of the practice even if you didn’t feel well that day.  Yet, if you were to run the race cold, even with the best intentions at heart, you would not do as well as if you practiced a little every day.  It is the same with forgiveness.  Practice forgiving the little things each day and when the big things come along you will have your training in forgiveness to fall back on even when you don’t feel like forgiving.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Be Intentionally Grateful to Your Spouse

Try it.  Don’t talk about it, think about it or put it off.  Just be intentionally grateful about something, anything will really do, which is far better than nothing.  Even if your spouse misunderstood your last comment, argued with you over something meaningless, made a thoughtless remark, or turned a casual comment into a lecture opportunity, show gratitude in a way that matters to them.  It is not about finding the right moment, because it will never come.  It is about creating the right moment in the mist of wrong moments to be grateful.  You can be grateful by making a positive comment about your spouse not a passive aggressive sarcastic remark.  You can be grateful by doing something for your spouse not doing something that you have asked them repeatedly to do and it still is not done.  You can be grateful by giving something to your spouse not by giving them something that is really for you.  You can be grateful by spending time with your spouse not by demanding your spouse spend time with you.  You can be grateful by gently squeezing your spouse’s hand not by yanking their hand.  So what are you waiting for, go be grateful to your spouse.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Pray for Your Spouse Daily

During times of tragedy, it is easier to remember to pray for and be grateful for your spouse’s safety, job, health, relationships, and good will.  As tragedy has a unique way of highlighting not only the sufferings but also the blessings as there seems to be no shortage of extremes.  Yet it is much harder to be consistent with prayer for your spouse during the good times; after all, your spouse may not seem as much in need as others.  But these moments are precisely the times when prayer is most needed, when it is least expected because you never know when tragedy will strike.  Pray for wisdom in decision making, discernment in associations, solid friendships, strength to endure trials, patience in work, keen focus, and understanding heart.  Praying for your spouse is not about praying that your spouse agrees with you on a decision rather it is about praying for character traits and asking for protection realizing that in the end God is in control even during a tragedy.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Never Leave Your Spouse Behind

There is a saying in the military, “Never leave a man behind” which should be applied to a marriage.  There will be times in your marriage when you are growing or moving faster than your spouse for a variety of reasons.  However, if you keep your spouse in the dark or leave him or her behind then resentment has the opportunity to grow and take over your marriage.  You will then find a new resentment for your spouse for not appreciating your growth and your spouse will resent you for leaving him or her out of your growth.  As you learn more about yourself, include your spouse in your understanding and if needed help your spouse to grow with you.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: You are Married So Act like It

Have you ever run into someone and was surprised to find them married because he or she just spent the last few minutes flirting with you?  This is a recipe for disaster in a marriage.  Married people should act like married people meaning that when you are away from your spouse, you are a partial representation of a whole package.  The whole package is the combination of you and your spouse together where two separate people become one united in marriage.  Apart, you are representing your commitment to your marriage, not your commitment to your own selfish desires.  If both parts treated the marriage with such care and commitment then it will be a light to others around.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Stick-up for Your Spouse

Attacks in on a person can come from everywhere: family, friends, co-workers, media and even church.  But you don’t have to give into the peer pressure to pick on your spouse just because someone else’s marriage is not working well.  You should have your spouse’s back at all times regardless of how you feel your spouse treats you.  This is not about keeping score and if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.  Rather it is your responsibility to honestly protect your spouse because most attacks happen when he or she is not there.  This is not about having rose-colored glasses where your spouse can do nothing wrong, that is equally damaging as seeing everything wrong.  Rather it is about having your spouse’s back in public and if necessary confronting him or her in private.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Value Your Spouse’s Advice above Others

The usual response is “You won’t say that if you knew the kind of advice my spouse gives”.  Ok, so maybe you are right but consider this possibility.  You still can place value or importance on a piece of advice without following through on the advice.  The way you show value to your spouse’s advice is to listen to it without complaining or assuming that you already know what he or she is going to say.  If you chose not to take the advice, that is your decision but you can still listen and give your spouse’s opinion the weight it deserves for your level of commitment.  The point is simple, by valuing your spouse’s advice you are demonstrating that your spouse is the most significant person in your life and their input is important to you.  This is a show of intentional commitment to one another.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.