Marriage Tip: Pray for Your Spouse Daily

During times of tragedy, it is easier to remember to pray for and be grateful for your spouse’s safety, job, health, relationships, and good will.  As tragedy has a unique way of highlighting not only the sufferings but also the blessings as there seems to be no shortage of extremes.  Yet it is much harder to be consistent with prayer for your spouse during the good times; after all, your spouse may not seem as much in need as others.  But these moments are precisely the times when prayer is most needed, when it is least expected because you never know when tragedy will strike.  Pray for wisdom in decision making, discernment in associations, solid friendships, strength to endure trials, patience in work, keen focus, and understanding heart.  Praying for your spouse is not about praying that your spouse agrees with you on a decision rather it is about praying for character traits and asking for protection realizing that in the end God is in control even during a tragedy.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

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Holiday Stress is coming to Town

Do you find yourself making a list and checking it twice?  Isn’t that Santa’s job?  With so much to do in such a short time it is easy to double book parties, forget the vanilla extract yet again, lose the address of your favorite client, and spend too much money all before noon today.  The Holidays are here and so is the added stress of more stuff, more money, more places to be, more people to see, and more pounds to gain.  But it doesn’t have to be this way.  Instead of making just another “to do” list, make yourself a different type of list establishing your limitations well in advance.  You can call it your Naughty List (what not to do) and Nice List (what to do).

Naughty List.

  1. Overspending your budget just because…
  2. Being unrealistic about the amount of time an activity will take or a visit with family will last.
  3. Failing to communicate your plans with others so they can plan accordingly.
  4. Trying out a recipe out for the first time to bring to your office party.  The expectation that everything will go perfectly and it will taste fantastic is unrealistic.  Instead bring a dish that you already know works.
  5. Increasing your project load at home when you have less free time to complete it.  If you want to make new decorations, make them after the season for next year rather than now when time is already short.
  6. Overdoing the decorations, enough said.
  7. Overbuying for you.  That red sweater you wore last year is still good and you really don’t need a new one.
  8. Being a Scrooge.  Just because money is short doesn’t mean that you have to announce it to the world and remind everyone about your struggles.
  9. Calories unfortunately do count during the Holidays.  That piece of fudge is still the same amount of calories during the Holidays as it is in the summer.
  10. Feeling guilty.  No one can make you feel guilty unless you let them so except your limitations and set better boundaries.
  11. Minimizing the impact of a major life change over the past year.  Any major life change such as a death, divorce, marriage, birth of a child or move significantly changes the way the Holidays will be spent.  If you have had a change over the past year, acknowledge it and plan for the Holidays to reflect the change.
  12. Setting unreasonable expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your family.

Nice List.

  1. Take time out for yourself and rest during the Holidays.  Plan one day to be free from all commitments and enjoy the season.
  2. Reconnect with an old friend.
  3. Extend the free gift of forgiveness to someone in your life.
  4. Revisit the true meaning of the Holidays instead of the commercial meaning.
  5. Give a plant, some food, some time, or some expertise instead of another useless gift.  These gifts are far more valuable.
  6. Create a new tradition.  Instead of all the running around, plan to spend one day with just immediate family and stay in your P.J.’s all day watching old movies and playing games.
  7. Give the gift of humor and learn to laugh at yourself.  This is a great stress reliever.
  8. Before you go to a party set limits on the amount you will eat and drink.  Be reasonable, realistic, and practical about your temptations.
  9. Technology can be a wonderful thing.  Skype a family member that you can’t visit because of the distance.
  10. The older members of your family are likely to feel lonely during the Holidays so plan on extra time with them and patiently listen to them reliving the past.  This is a free gift that will mean far more than a material gift.
  11. Reach outside of your world and touch the lives of those less fortunate than you by volunteering to deliver meals, giving your lunch to the homeless person on the side of the road, providing a bike for a kid in need, or donating clothing that is unused.
  12. Pray.  Pray for your family, pray for your friends, pray for neighbors, pray for your co-workers, pray for your country, pray for those serving in the military, pray for those being persecuted, pray for those who are starving, pray for those who are dying, and most especially pray for those causing harm to others.  Prayer works.  Prayer lasts a long time.  Prayer creates peace.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Waiting on God’s Timing

You have believed, you have prayed, you have gotten wise counsel, you have checked that your prayer is consistent with Scripture and you have peace about the final outcome, yet nothing is happening.  There are no small or large changes, everything seems to be still (almost to a stop) and then you wonder is this really the right thing?  Is this thing that you have been praying for really going to happen or is it just another prayer on the long list of prayers that did not get answered or worse got answered in a manner opposite from how you prayed.

So to distract yourself from the agonizing question, you become immersed in a project, in work, in church, or in a relationship.  While the distraction works for a while, the underlying question looms and pops up in weird places like while driving, taking a shower, or sleeping.  So you pray again but still no answer.  You remind yourself of all of the blessings God has given you and give thanks but still no answer.  You pray for others and take care of those He has entrusted into your care but still no answer.   You go to the altar and pour your heart out to God for an answer but still no answer.  You read Scripture and fast but still no answer.  So now what?

He leads you beside still waters.  Sometimes the reason for the wait to a prayer is because whatever is about to happen will require all of your strength, so by not having an answer right away, your strength is being stored up for whatever is to come.  A common mistake is thinking that having an answer right away reduces your stress, but what if it really will not, what if this time of stillness is really God’s way of preparing you for an even greater stress.  Psalms 23:2 says that He directs our paths to stillness; your objective is to recognize the stillness and be thankful for it instead of wishing it away.

Be still and know that He is God.  Psalms 46:10 is a good reminder of the importance of remaining still and recognizing that His is God and He will be honored everywhere.  During your period of stillness, spend time just worshiping His awesomeness, remember this maybe God’s way of restoring your strength.  But if you spend this time worrying instead of worshiping, your strength will not be as great and may in fact be lessened.  Trust that His timing is perfect and enjoy being still.

Be still and wait patiently for Him to act.  Have you ever prayed for patience?  Have you ever wanted to be a more patience person?  Well, patience comes with practice.  How many times have you wanted others to demonstrate patience with you or asked others to have patience?  Here is your big chance to model patience for those around you or more importantly to model patience for yourself.  If you are not willing to model patience, how can you ask others to do the same?  Be still and wait patiently Psalms 37:7 commands.

In the meantime, keep believing, keep praying, keep seeking counsel, and keep studying the Scripture and God’s peace will be with you even during periods of stillness.  Come to love the stillness instead of the hectic, the quiet instead of the noisy and the peace instead of fighting and you will be blessed.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Out of Troubles Comes Wisdom in Trusting God

He was only eight days old when he stopped breathing.  All at the same time, it was the beginning of the day and yet it was the end of the day because in one moment, everything changed.  He received a clean bill of health during those eight days from three separate doctors yet I knew there was something wrong.  When he fell limp in my arms, his face had turned completely blue and all signs of life had vanished.  So many emotions converged all at once:  fear that he was dead, desperation that he and I needed help, scared that I had done something wrong, and relief in knowing that my instincts were in fact right.  My first response was to cry for help to which my husband immediately responded but weirdly enough all of the phones in our house were dead so he ran next door to get help.  In the meantime, while I stared at my breathless first-born child only three words came to mind, “God help me”.

In a split second I heard a voice that I can only explain as God’s in my head telling me exactly what to do.  I had never performed CPR nor seen it done nor knew there was a difference between adult CPR and infant CPR; yet I performed it perfectly with the help of God.  The voice was clear, firm, encouraging, and like a good teacher, guided me step by step gently warning me of dangers such as puncturing a lung or fracturing a rib, concepts that I had not even imagined possible.  By the time my husband returned with our neighbor after calling for an ambulance, the color on our son’s face returned and he was breathing again.  Two hospitals and a week later after a battery of tests, tubes, doctors, nurses, diagnosis, and advice, our son was released stronger than ever.

It was a miracle even by several doctor’s admission that he lived.  God had performed the miracle of giving us our son not just once but twice.  Out of that troubling moment, wisdom about God emerged.  Psalms 40:3 states, “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.”  He is trustworthy, He is in charge of life and death, and He does answer prayers during the greatest need.  Admittedly there have been times in my life when I have wondered if God was listening but then the memory of our son emerges and I am reminded all over again that even if that was the only prayer God answered, it is enough.

Trusting in God is about remembering all of the times in the past that He did answer your prayers.  It is not about putting blind faith in someone who has not demonstrated a presence; rather it is about remembering your past, remembering the Scriptures, and remembering the stories of others who have experienced His faithfulness.  If God had wanted us to have blind faith, He would not have given us countless stories in the Bible of His faithfulness.  Those stories are testimonies of real people who experienced God’s amazing unfailing love in a time of great need.  Search your life for evidence of God’s faithfulness and write it down.  Then keep it in your heart and teach it to your children so they will be blessed as you have been blessed.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Give the Gift of Prayer This Year

I don’t know about you, but every year I struggle with finding the perfect gift for my family and friends.  It is almost a mission to seek out the right gift balancing between the person’s needs, wants, and talents.  When the right gift is discovered it is pure joy to watch them open it and it is in moments like that when it is truly better to give then to receive.

This year as finances have become tighter, I find myself less interested in all of the bargains, deals, extra shopping hours and countless searches on the internet.  Rather it has become a time of self-reflection onto the meaning of Christmas rather than the gift giving of Christmas.  When I recall the best gifts I have received during the year, it is the rare moment when a friend tells me they have been praying for me without my prompting and without any knowledge of my present circumstances.  Those moments are precious to me and I can remember every one of them with great clarity far better than I can remember the gifts I received from Christmas even just last year.

So this year, I’m going to give to my family and friends the gift of prayer.  Not in a showy way or prideful manner that says “I’m more Christian than you”, not in a gossipy or need to know the details of their life manner, but rather a simple personal email with the below prayer.  This prayer was taken from the first chapter of Colossians and it was Paul’s prayer for his fellow believers.  While reading the passage, it occurred to me that many times I pray for circumstances rather than character, relief from stress rather than strength, and change rather than clarity.  But no more, here is my prayer.

May God bless this season of your life through (Col. 1:8-12):

  •   Thanksgiving for your faith
  •   Knowing His will for your life
  •   Gaining spiritual wisdom and understanding
  •   Living to honor and please Him
  •   Learning more knowledge of who God is
  •   Increasing in strength for endurance & patience
  •   Filling you with joy and thankfulness

Let me invite you to consider a similar prayer for your family and friends this year, perhaps in addition to or in replacement for a gift.  Just imagine for a moment the change that could occur during your family visits if you prayed this prayer for each family member before gathering together.  Maybe, just maybe, it might be the best Christmas yet.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.