Depression, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Autism and Schizophrenia Have Similiar Genes

It is wonderful to see the research coming out for disorders such as depression, ADHD, bi-polar, autism, and schizophrenia.  But when the same genetic code can be traced for each of these disorders, it is even better.

Such a discovery can lead to a more accurate diagnosis between the disorders, better  understanding of how the disorders affect the brain, more creditability issuing a diagnosis in the first place, and clearer definition of each disorder.

If you or someone you love has one of these disorders, please read this important article.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/08/19/5-major-mental-illnesses-traced-to-same-genetic-variations/58642.html 

 

Sermon on Depression and Suicide

National Presbyterian ChurchIf you are struggling with depression or know of someone who is, please read this tender yet honest sermon from Chris Erdman about the death of his friend and Pastor Jamie Evans.  I knew Jamie as a child as his parents were and still are dear friends of my parents.  His father, Louis Evans Jr., now deceased, was also my pastor at National Presbyterian Church in Washington D.C., the one who taught me to have a love for God that is still strong within me.

I have nothing but fond memories of Jamie as he would often pick my brother and I up to attend youth functions at our church.  He was always so full of energy and life, so much fun to be around.  In fact, my first motorcycle ride, much to the dismay of my parents, was on the back of his bike.

This wonderfully written sermon is a testimony to Jamie’s life and struggles with ADHD, dyslexia and depression.  It reminds us of the importance of treating mental illness and not pretending everything is OK when it is not.  It is well worth your time to read.

http://chriserdman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/God-and-Suicide-Luke-13.31-35.pdf

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

ADHD Medication Not Working For Your Teen? It May Be a Sleep Disorder

Bedtimes-and-Adolescent-DepressionIt is yet another counseling appointment for Sam who is 13 years old and is struggling in school, home, and everywhere he goes.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression in the past but all of the medications have failed to work and his is getting worse, not better.  He is a bright boy who can do well at school but he frequently falls asleep while doing homework saying that it is too boring.  Socially he struggles with his peers as he seems disconnected, detached, and distracted.  You are beyond frustrated, having tried numerous therapies and medications convinced that something is wrong but unable to identify it.  Finally you begin to believe that he is just lazy.

While laziness may play a factor in Sam’s teenage brain, there might be something else.  Frequently, lack of proper sleep can have waking symptoms of ADHD or even depression.  Without proper REM sleep, a still growing teenager will struggle to stay awake during the day, seem distracted, forgetful, moody, prone to anger, unable to focus for long periods of time, and sleep excessively.  A teenager should get approximately 9 hours of sleep with an additional hour of sleep if going through a growth spurt.  If you are concerned that your child may have a sleep disorder instead of ADHD or depression, ask your doctor to order a sleep study.  This is the best way to diagnose sleep disorders.

Narcolepsy.  The movie version of narcolepsy has a person walking in a mall and suddenly dropping to the floor and going to sleep.  This is not entirely accurate as there are many forms of narcolepsy all ranging from mild to severe.  In a teenager, narcolepsy looks like falling asleep while in class, doing homework, watching TV, or reading.  The teen may also be talking to you one minute, look away, seem to be somewhere else for a second and then return back to the conversation claiming an inability to follow the conversation.  This is likely to cause problems at school and home as it may seem disrespectful to you.  The good news is that once it is diagnosed, proper medication can mitigate the symptoms as well as a strict sleep schedule including a nap.

Sleep Apnea.  During the night, a person with sleep apnea is suddenly startled in the middle of a deep sleep because breathing has stopped.  This can happen many times during the course of the night leaving the waking person to feel exhausted in the morning.  In a teenager, falling asleep during class, jerking while asleep, and snoring are all commons symptoms.  The treatment varies for teens but common practices are to remove the tonsils and adenoids for relief of the symptoms.

Insomnia.  Having difficulty falling asleep at night, staying asleep or not feeling rested could be chronic insomnia.  Without regular sleep a teen seems distracted, depressed, struggles to concentrate at school, is moody, clumsy, and irritable.  Again, early diagnosis is the key as there are many medications which can be beneficial in reducing the symptoms of insomnia.  In addition, a regular sleep schedule is essential to condition your body when to rest and when to remain awake.

While there are more sleep disorders, these are the ones most commonly seen in teens.  Still there are other medical conditions that could be contributing to sleep problems such as Restless Leg Syndrome so it is important to speak with your doctor to rule out any other contributing factors.  However, the most important element in teaching your teen about good sleep patterns is by modeling them yourself.  Develop a relaxing nighttime routine such as reading, yoga, a bath, or a cup of chamomile tea to release the day’s stressors and allow your body to naturally relax.  In addition, do your best to go to bed at the same time every night waking up approximately 7 hours later around the same time every morning.  This routine will not only improve your sleep habits but can aid in weight loss, reduce anxiety, depression and stress all of which can be beneficial for you and your teen.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

What to Do When You Are the Cheating Spouse

cheating-spouse-surveillanceYou are having an affair.  This wasn’t intention, you didn’t even see it coming but here you are anyway in   the middle of an affair.  It started off easily and innocently with a glance when you noticed the other person and got noticed back; it felt good to have someone look at you like that way again.  The other person took an interest in you, in your problems, in your frustrations, and in your successes without judgment, resentment, or selfishness.  It began with an occasional face-to-face conversation then the conversation became more private through texting and emails.  You found yourself looking for opportunities to meet and to touch casually noticing their smell, their look, and their eyes longing for the next meeting.

Finally it happened, the connection that began as emotional became physical.  It seemed so natural, so comfortable, and so normal that you hardly noticed something was wrong.  But something is wrong because you are married and the other person is not your spouse.  Mixed emotions of guilt, fear, excitement, anticipation, worry, anger, and anxiety flood your body leaving you with a complete lack of clarity. Now you are stuck, not knowing what to do without anyone to talk to, knowing that no matter what someone is going to get hurt.   You know that having an affair is wrong, but here you are.

Lie #1:  No one is going to get hurt.  The truth is everyone will get hurt.  Your spouse will get hurt when the affair becomes known, a promise of fidelity is broken, trust is destroyed, and intimacy is denied.  The person you are having the affair will get hurt when reliability is forbidden, stability is deprived, promises are broken, and intimacy is one way.  You will get hurt when forced to make a decision, lies become standards, secrets become gossip, promises broken, and intimacy becomes a farce.  Your friends, family, and God all become hurt as well since your marriage was a promise of commitment in front of all and now that promise is broken.

Lie #2:  It’s my spouse’s fault I’m having an affair.  The truth is both of you are to blame for the affair but you more than your spouse.  Pointing fingers is not going to accomplish much right now, it’s kind of like Adam and Eve in the garden when each blamed someone else for the reason they sinned.  What is done is done and blaming someone else is not going to more you forward.  Own your own mistakes; this is adult behavior instead of childlike blame shifting.

Lie #3:  There is nothing I can do.  The truth is you have many options but all of them are far more difficult than the decision to have the affair.  Once you recognize that you are really hurting everyone by having an affair and you own up to your responsibility in the affair, then you need to take action.  Remaining in the same place and continuing on with your life as it is now will cause significant anxiety and lead to panic attacks and depression.  Having an affair is lying.  So begin the process by not lying anymore and then confess previous lies.  It will be painful of there is little doubt but continuing the lying is even more painful.

No one likes to admit that they have done something wrong.  It is painful, revealing, exposing, and humbling however nothing can be resolved if the affair remains in secret.  Get some counsel, ask for help from a non-biased person, and take action.  In the end, you are responsible for your actions and the decisions that you make both for good and bad.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Detach from the Ranting

Your spouse is going to rant about something sooner or later.  Unfortunately the ranting may even be about the same topic, the same people, or the same circumstances you have heard about a thousand times before.  In your response, you are likely to fall into a pattern of defending, explaining, shutting down, minimizing or personalizing the ranting.  None of these responses are correct and all are likely to incite even more ranting from your spouse.

So what can you do?  First recognize that you rant as well and stop pointing the finger at your spouse as if they were the only one to blame.  Second, remind yourself that you do love your spouse and that your love in unconditional, not based on performance.  Afterall, this is what you expect from your spouse so you should give them the same consideration.  Finally, detach from the ranting by reminding yourself that their ranting is their issue and not yours.  You do not need to take your spouse’s issues on like a weight to be carried around.  This is not helpful, this is hurtful.  Your spouse is responsible for their behavior, their actions, and their words; just like you are responsible for your behavior towards your spouse, your actions and your words.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Get Real

So you say that you want your marriage to be better.  You read books, listen to others, pray, and talk about the importance of marriage but how committed are you really?  It is much easier to talk about communicating and the importance of it for instance, then to actually communicate effectively.  The same is true for your marriage.  It is much easier to talk about having a good marriage and the importance of having one rather than making positive steps to improve your marriage.  Strangely enough, no matter what your spouse has done, a better marriage starts with you and not the other person.  Stop looking at what your spouse is doing wrong or has done wrong in the past and start looking at your contribution to the failure of your marriage.  Get real with yourself and God before you go on the attack.  This is far more productive than blaming your spouse as Adam and Eve discovered in the Garden.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

Marriage Tip: Don’t Be A Spouse Pleaser

Yes, I know that this is strange advice and most likely contradicts the latest marriage book you read but it doesn’t work in the long run.  Sure you can get great results in your marriage by always trying to please your spouse short-term but sooner or later you run out of steam especially when the gesture is not reciprocated to your satisfaction level.  Pleasing your spouse ranks right up there with pleasing others which should not be the focus of your life.

What is wrong with pleasing your spouse or others?  The standard for pleasing others is constantly changing and therefore is not a foundation upon which you can stand firm.  However, going to the opposite point of view which is pleasing yourself is selfish and an equally troubling foundation for a marriage.  Pleasing others elevates their feelings, beliefs, and standards as more important as your own.  Pleasing yourself elevates your feelings, beliefs, and standards as more important than others.  Neither is good.

There is only one to please, one to praise, one to worship, one to follow, one to hope, and one to love.  God.  His standard is unchanging, unwavering, and full of grace all at once.  By setting your sights on pleasing God, you will naturally please others and yourself but not because one is elevated above the other.  Rather, you will be  more focused on His ways of grace, mercy, love, patience, kindness, order, and structure.  This is the best foundation for your marriage.

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.